am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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