Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize