My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
