i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
