i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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