in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
