is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
