how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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