Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
