My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Bring me that man meat
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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