She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Fuck appropriateness.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize