You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
