its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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