Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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