Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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