I faked an abortion last night.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
