I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
