we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
