I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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