CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
