Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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