Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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