i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
