New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
