We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
