I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
