stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
