I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
