Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
