i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize