I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
