I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just had sex bonerless
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
