So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
