I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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