my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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