This is not my ceiling
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
