Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
