I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Come on in and take your pants off
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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