how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize