I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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