before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Its about making memories worth repressing
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
