after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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