Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
