captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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