Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
