I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
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He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
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I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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