I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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