Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
