I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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