Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
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I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
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My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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