we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
