Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
