Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
