He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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