I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
