I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
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Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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