The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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