My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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