Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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