everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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