so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
