to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
