What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
