I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
