As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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