what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
